Unless you are careful, those pleasure romps can leave you struggling with pain. Dr Rajan Bhonsle tells you how to protect yourself
Physical intimacy is a significant indicator of a man-woman relationship. It is said that if the sex is good, then it’s only 10 per cent of the relationship, but if it isn’t, it becomes 90 per cent of the relationship. Sex is essentially designed for “pleasure”. However sometimes people get hurt during sexual encounters and there are several reasons for the same.
Cuts, bruises, abrasions A common complaint among men and women is developing cuts, bruises and even injuries to genitals during intercourse. Lack of ‘adequate’ lubrication is invariably the ONLY cause. Early penetration while the vagina is still dry can cause abrasions or even cuts.
Dealing with it: Engage in relaxed and prolonged foreplay for at least 20 minutes before intercourse to ensure adequate lubrication. Both men and women have special glands in their genitalia that produce lubricating secretions to facilitate smoother intercourse.
These glands are activated only on genuine sexual arousal and it takes about 15 to 20 minutes of mutual foreplay for that to happen. Good foreplay is one when both partners are ‘willing’ and enjoy pleasuring each other. Adequate foreplay will produce adequate natural lubrication which eliminates any possibility of pain.
Point to remember: Many women are apprehensive about intercourse and hence are unable to respond comfortably during the first few times. She might involuntarily tighten her vaginal muscles making penetration painful and sometimes impossible. This may also happen because her emotional involvement is not yet ripe. In such cases, it is advisable to wait a little and not rush into things.
Tight hymen
Some women have a very tight and thick hymen since birth such that it cannot be torn via penetration. Then, if the penetration is forced, the tearing of a thick hymen can cause injury, severe pain and bleeding.
Dealing with it: Such a hymen requires a small surgery (Hymenectomy) where it is opened surgically under anesthesia. Until and unless such a surgery is performed, it may not be correct to indulge in forcible intercourse.
Paraphimosis
A problem faced by men, here the foreskin gets entrapped behind the glans during penetrative sexual intercourse (or even during violent masturbation), and cannot be slid back to its usual flaccid position covering the glans. As a result, the foreskin swells, leading to inflammation and pain. If the condition persists or there is any sign of lack of blood supply, it should be treated as a medical emergency as it can result in serious complications including gangrene.
Dealing with it: Ideally the foreskin needs to retract on an erect penis enough to expose the whole of the glans-penis. This may either happen on its own on full erection or one may have to do it manually before penetration. But if the retraction is not possible or is painful, the condition is known as ‘Phimosis’. It’s best to undergo a circumcision before attempting
penetrative sexual intercourse.
Penile fracture
Even though there are no actual bones in a penis, it is possible to fracture or break one’s penis. It occurs when an erect penis hits or bangs against a less flexible (or a hard) surface. This may happen if under excitement, the man forcefully thrusts his penis, over-runs or misses the vaginal opening and hits into a harder area such as the pubic bone.
If the object is tough enough and the erect penis is banged with enough intensity, the thick membrane (tunica albuginea) covering the corpora cavernosa of the penis can crack causing an audible sound, severe bruising, pain, immediate loss of erection and a penis that is classically bent towards one side or the other.
Dealing with it: Penile fracture is a surgical emergency and should be attended to urgently. The treatment consists of early surgical intervention to reinstate the torn tunica albuginea and rescue the ability to urinate and erectile function.
Anal sex
You may fancy ‘anal sex’, but the act carries a huge risk of pain and injury. Physiologically, the anus is not designed for penetration by any hard object. As a protective reflex action, the anal sphincter tightens if stimulated. Any attempt at penile insertion may be distressing even if done slowly and gradually and if the penis is forced in, an injury is possible.
Also, the tears can enlarge to a fissure or cracks that are painful and slow to heal. There is also a possibility that a fistula could open up, allowing faeces to reroute into the abdominal cavity or into the vagina leading to serious surgical complications.
Dealing with it: Refraining from anal sex is the best way out.
Dr Rajan Bhonsle is a senior sex therapist and counsellor
Medical science strongly recommends that until you find the cause of this pain, do not indulge in intercourse. If you continue, matters will only get worse and a physical problem can turn into a deep-rooted psychological one.
Here are some of the causes and conditions when sex can hurt.